The Sweetest Face

Happy belated New Year or a happy upcoming Chinese New Year! This is the year of the rat according to the Chinese Zodiac. The Chinese zodiac revolves around twelve animals with each animal representing a year. The rat is actually the beginning of the zodiac’s twelve-year cycle. My little boy was born in the year of the sheep which means in 8 years or year 2016, he will turn 12.

Our family spent the last month of 2007 together in a tropical paradise called Sandakan, Malaysia. The temperature hovers around 85 to 90 degrees and it occasionally cools down when the north wind passes. This is a place where you can rest your mind and put it on vegetative mode. You literally don’t need to think when you are resting at this place. I actually feel dumber after spending sometime here.

If resting is the thing to do here then surely we took full advantage of this place. In another word, we spent time sleeping. We slept in beds, on the sofa, on the couch, in chairs, on benches, in cars and sometimes even on the floor. Some may think what a waste of time it is to spend time sleeping while in tropical paradise. Errr…I have to admit tropical paradise is quite a stretch even though this is my hometown. Yes, there are plenty of coconut trees, but the problem is the coconuts are still on the trees. There aren’t any attractive servants with a monkey climbing up the coconut tree to fetch you coconuts. Yes, it is tropical temperature but the beaches are not for people but rather for the locals to dry their rotten fish. These fish are called “Salted Fish” (Hum Yu) and is a rather tasty gourmet served along with porridge.

We did see sunsets and ate cheap but great food. A dinner for three would cost less than $10.00 US dollar and real meat will be served. We did try to stay away from the salted fish we saw being dried on the beaches since there were other NATURALLY preserved “delicacies” that were being dried among the fishes. These NATURAL delicacies weren’t put there by the ones who dried the fish. They sort of just drifted and eventually settle as part of the fish.

The night scenes were quite dramatic and spectacular. With a cool light breeze behind and the gentle coconut leaves waving at you as a welcome gesture, you could peacefully stroll through the downtown streets with shorts and sandals. As we strolled along, you might see shadowy fleshes running from one spot to another. At first glance, you may think these are just some lost but cute and fury house cats trying to find their way home. A closer look would yield the finding of a lifetime. These are no cats! They are RATS! This tropical paradise is also a haven for these rats. In this paradise, cats do not chase after rats but rather the other way around.

Inspired by the upcoming New James Bond movie set to be released later this year (Quantum of Solace), we did find solace during our stay in paradise. Both of us enjoyed very much watching our little boy sleeps. It was an indescribable peace as if nothing in this world or no matter what else happens could wake or disturb him from his sleep. It is paradise enough for us to simply ….watch him sleep. Sleep like a baby sleep zzzzzzzz.

The Longest 30 Days

I have been away from home for almost 28 days. It's been a long journey and every minute I passed seem to dread a little bit longer. Just two more days, 48 more hours, 2880 minutes until I see my little boy again. I didn't think I would end up counting the days on my calendar but I did. Our family had planned for the trip back to Asia almost 4 months ago. I was to head back to Malaysia while my wife would take our son to Hong Kong. This has been a dream trip for us for almost two years. We were never in the moment until it became a possibility about 4 months ago. We gladly took the opportunity and planned for a christmas in Asia family trip. We left together and I spent a week in Hong Kong with my wife and son then I would spend a month in hometown in Malaysia. My wife and son will join me later in Malaysia after 30 days. I didn't think these 30 days would be hard to pass considering I haven't been home (Malaysia) for over twelve years. My assumption proved to be very wrong. We speak on the phone almost every day afterwards and it is simply not the same. I couldn't hold him or roll on the ground with him playing pretend football tackle. I couldn't team up with him and play tricks on mommy. The first week, my son was still in good spirit. He didn't seem to miss me too much. My wife told me that he didn't even mention me AT ALL! Naturally I was a bit dissappointed. My spirit picked up on the 8th day of us being apart. My son started asking where is Daddy? I miss him. I want to play tackle and grandpa don't know how. How come daddy is not back yet? My wife would response:

Mommy: Daddy is in Malaysia remember?
Son: O... yea..but why?
Mommy: Daddy is from Malaysia and he is spending sometime with his daddy
Son: Ok.
Mommy: Remember what daddy told you before he left?
Son: Yea, daddy said, if I miss him, I can do two things. One is to pick the phone and call him and two is to pray to God.
Mommy: That's right son. Do you want to call him now?
Son: No thanks, I want to watch spiderman with grandpa!
Mommy: But I thought you miss daddy!
Son: Hmmm...not really... I want to go watch spiderman with grandpa. YEA SPIDERMAN!

Well above was my wife's version of what happened and below is what my son told me.

Mommy: Daddy is in Malaysia remember?
Son: O yea but why?
Mommy: Daddy is from Malaysia and he is spending sometime with his daddy
Son: Ok but I miss him so much.
Mommy: Remember what daddy told you before he left?
Son: Yea, daddy said, if I miss him, I can do two things. One is to pick the phone and call him at anytime and two is to pray to God.
Mommy: That's right son.
Son: Mommy I want to call daddy now.
Mommy: Err..not now son it's expensive to call your daddy now. Wait till tonite after 9.00pm.
Son: Err...but err..but spiderman movie doesn't finish at least not until 9.30pm and you said i need to sleep at 9.30pm
Mommy: Your choice son, spiderman or daddy?
Son: Daddy loh.

I wonder who to believe after this considering I never gotten a call on the supposed day that my son and my wife claim this had happenned. Just 2 more days until I can put both on trial and find out the TRUTH! Let's see who CAN'T HANDLE the TRUTH!

But whyyyyy.?? You need to be KIND!

We recently just realized what challenge it is of being parents to a strong-willed four year old. Somehow this is nature’s way of getting back with us for what we have done to our parents when we were growing up. My son is an average naughty little four years old boy. He is very active and has an outgoing personality. He loves to meet new people and wouldn’t mind going up to strangers and quickly strike up a conversation especially if it revolves around his passion for trains, cars, food and dogs. He is able to carry a more advance conversation now and loves to even kid around by being silly.

If I have a chance, I would usually read to him every night before he sleeps. His loves Olivia and David books. He is learning to read on his own but for these books, he’s had them all memorized. I would read them these books but would put a little twist on it to see whether if he really knows the story line by line. He’s got me figured out each time. He knows all these books by heart almost word by word. Each time when I insert Dr Seus characters or stories within Olivia books, he would say “But why??” which he means “why you change the story again!” Or “NO WAY!…follow by giggles. Recently he even said, “daddy you are being silly again. That’s not Olivia, that’s Dr Seuss.”

Mommy has also gotten a dose of “But why???” questions except it’s during a much different scene. See below a normal “But why” conversation:

Setting up the scene: Approaching noon and time for his favorite TV Show.

Mommy: Ok dear after watching Cailou, you need to wash your hands and get ready to eat lunch.
Son: My son’s eyes glue to his show and didn’t hear a word of what mommy has repeated three times.
Mommy: HON! Did you hear mommy?
Son: Finally answers and yell out YES yes yes mommy but really didn’t hear a word of what mommy said. He’s got a habit of saying YES first if he hears anyone of us yelling at him.
Mommy: Ok dear Cailou is done. Go wash your hands.
Son: Not yet mommy. (He even watches the credits for the show)
Mommy: That’s it dear, you need to go wash your hands and come for lunch.
Son: Give me five minutes!
Mommy at this point is growing more impatient and voice starts to raise a bit more but still gives him the five minutes. Son has finally finished watching his show and goes to wash his hand and goes to have lunch.

(Scene – Both my son and mommy sit at the table to have lunch. Son begins to speak.)

Son: Mommy, Cailou’s mom made him his favorite egg sandwich. Cailou’s mom is very kind to him. Can I have egg sandwich please?
Mommy – (Labor for an hour cooking delicious egg fried noodle but maintains composure and answers) Ok son, we can have egg sandwich tomorrow, but only if you obeys mommy and daddy and do all your chores today.
Son: Cailou does not do chores mommy and he gets to go fishing with his daddy. His mommy makes him egg sandwich with yummy potato salad
Mommy – (Starting to break down a little bit and loses a bit more, voice gets a little louder) DEAR, if you do all your chores and clean up, WE can talk about egg sandwiches tomorrow!
Son – Cailou’s mommy let him play with his friend in the sandlot and he didn’t have to wash his hands. Cailou’s mommy loves him.
Mommy – (Mount St Helen is about to erupt. Fumes are coming out. Ashes and lava are flowing down and is about the cover up the near villages at the bottom of the foothill.)
THAT’S ENOGUH about CAILOU. YOU are not CAILOU and CAILOU is not real! He is fictional. His mommy is not REAL as well! It’s all fictional! SON eat your EGG noodle.
Son – (Eyes begin to well up a bit and swallows deeply. Little did mommy know, little volcano is equally as ERUPTIVE! Like mommy like son) BUT WHY MOMMY!.. YOU need to be kind because Jesus said so when daddy read me the story Last night. This is the Truth!
Mommy – Suddenly speechless (and little bit embarrassed) and said, errrrr….ok honey, we can have egg sandwich tomorrow but you still have to do your chores.

It rreeeally HURTS!

As you may know, my son has been in and out of the hospital for the past 12 months. The early symptoms of his Nephrotic Syndrome relapse seems to start with a stomachache followed by lost of appetite and then lost of energy or sluggishness. Edema begins next around his facial area, his urine begins to look foamy and by now, he is pretty much not doing anything besides laying on the couch waiting for our doctor to call for approval to be admitted in to the hospital. This is basically his routine prior to being admitted in to the hospital.

At the hospital, he's given full attention by the nurses, doctors and of course his very worried parents. Anything he asked for, he would pretty much get it. If he wants ice-cream, then ice-cream it is that he will get. If he wants to play computer online games or watch a certain tv program, he would get it. He basically receives a full ride when he gets sick.



When he is well and at home, he's been given responsibilities and chores just like any other normal kid. One of his responsibilities is to set up the eating utensils each time before a meal.

Over The last few days, he's been complaining about having stomach pains when it is approaching lunch or dinner time. Other than his complaining at these particular times, he did not show any other symptoms. So, I decided to test him out to see whether he was for real or just pretending.

Mom: It's dinner time, Somebody needs to set the table.
Son: ...eerrrr.....I am not feeling well.
Dad: What's wrong son
Son: It hurts..
Dad: Where son, are you ok?
Son: Mmmm...It hurts..
Dad: Where does it hurt? Is it here(Pointing to the head, eye, hand, butt, nose and then feet and purposely don't point to the stomach)
Son: No..here..Dad.. here
Dad: Where?? Is it here? (Pointing at the all wrong places again..)
Son: No No NO..here.. IT hurts here
Dad: O you mean, you are hurting here..pointing above his abdomen area on purpose.
Son: (Getting agitated) NO NO NO NO NO NO...Here...tummy tummy.(circling around his tummy with his palm)..
Dad: O I see. Then we need to go the hospital right now and you need to get poked!
Son: ....(hesitating)...hmm...It's ok dad, it hurts only a little bit.
Dad: But we must be careful, we need to go now. Mommy get the keys!
Son: I am hungry..
Dad: You are hungry or hurting?
Son: I am hungry and hurting and I am tired. I can't move well.
Dad: (Forced to use the ultimate Scheme and it works each time) Ok son, why don't you rest first and daddy will help you set up the table.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: O..you want to play your favorite online game Nickjr?
Son: (Suddenly bounced off from the couch and forgot that he was "feeling" sick or miraculously got heal, jumps up and down and says YES YES dad..I want to play.
Dad: THEN SET the table first! After you eat, you can play 5 minutes!
Son: ..(getting back to the couch slowly)..hmm. my tommy is hurting again Daddy.

AND back to square one!

See this funny clip below: Who did the kaka?

My First Real Cell Phone Conversation with my Son

For some reason, my household has been plagued by sickness lately. My wife had diarrhea after eating some bad ice-cream and was miserable for about two days. I had to take care of her, our son and maintain an orderly home for a period of 48 hours. This is no laughing matter and it's tough work. Since we have dwelled on the subject of taking things for granted from my last posts, let me just take this opportunity to once again acknowledge and give my salute to single parents. I don't know how they can do it because I could barely move after 48 hours while trying to hold down the family fort all by myself and meeting a project deadline at work. I prioritize what was the most important and do that first! I made sure my wife would be nursed back to health as soon AS POSSIBLE!

During the 40Th hour of my wife's suffering, I had to detour back to the office to attend for some urgent business. My son was sort of left alone while mommy was half asleep resting comfortably on the sofa where she could still occasionally catch a glance to see what else our son was destroying around the house. Later on, my wife told me that our little guy seemed to really enjoy himself because he wasn't supervised. He got to watch TV for 5 hours straight, followed by playing online computer games with NickJr, and to top it off with a grand central train track station mess in the middle of our living room. Mommy was too tired to yell after running in and out of the bathroom.

I called home on the 42th hour to check on mommy. I called her cell phone and it rang for several minutes but no one picks up. I called again and it rang for several times until my son picked up. This began a very neat experience with my son.
The first word that came out of his mouth prior to me saying anything was, hi daddy, mommy is tired and is sleeping and the rest of the conversation goes something like this:

Son: Hi daddy (Very gingerly and almost nervous soft tone voice).....mommy is tired and is sleeping.
Daddy: Ok..what are you doing since mommy is sleeping?
Son: Er.. mommy is tired and she sleeps a lot.
Daddy: Ok.. I know mommy is sleeping because she is not feeling well.
Son: Yesss..daddy..Mommy hurt in tummy.
Daddy: Mommy sleep a lot? What did you do when mommy is sleeping?
Son: Yes mommy sleep on bed a lot, Mommy sleeps mommy sleeps.
Daddy: Ok...son, did you play? did you play trains?
Son: Err..hmm mommy go to bathroom a lot and then sleeps and and I also hear noises from the bathroom..
Daddy: Er..ok..er.. Hmm... Are you ok son? Do you need daddy to come home?
Son: NO daddy! Not yet! I will cook dinner for you daddy! Don't come home yet...Mommy still not feeling well...Love you.. follow by CLICK!

I figure my son was doing quite OK after that first real phone conversation we had.

Diarrhea? hmm.. Could be the Celery!

It's been another few days of whirlwind. Thankfully this time my son didn't end up in the hospital for his kidney disease. Nonetheless, his few sleepless insomnia nights were followed by our worries during daytime, and chills of fearing that he would end up in the hospital came yet again for the 5Th time in the last 2 months.

The worst part of the whole thing of the last few days, besides his insomnia, was diarrhea. There could be all sorts of reasons why he suffered from diarrhea; Reasons could be his body's natural defense system ridding of toxins and unwanted substances. Another reason, was his love for celery!

For whatever reason, my son loves celery! He could munch down legions and legions of celery! It would be heaven if he could find a restaurant that serves only celery buffet! I know he didn't get this from me because I hate celery and simply can't stand it. Celery somehow makes me feel bloated, full of acid and very uncomfortable all over. When my wife was giving birth to our son, my mother-in-law came to visit and help out around the family for about two months. I remember distinctly there was a time when she cooked us some celery with chicken that landed me on the bed bloated for a few days. I simply didn't eat for 3 days and I couldn't wait to get rid of it from my body. It was a horrible feeling and left me suffering from acid reflux throughout the whole night. My mother-in-law is a great cook but the celery simply didn't mix well with my system. Till this day, I have not told her why I stay in the bed during that period of time. She thought I was just too tired helping out at night with the baby.

On the other hand, my son craves for celery. He eats them raw or cooked! He would dip them in sauce or eat them together with meat. Celery is very high on fiber and it often acts as natural laxative. Perhaps that also help explains why he would need to go for number two during the middle of each meal! There was one time when we took him shopping at the local grocery store where he shouted out loud, "Where is my SA-lary?" that resulted in a few smirks among the other shoppers around us. Naturally I responded back to him, you are not old enough to receive a salary from daddy but you are certainly allowed to have an small allowance. Quietly later on, I would correct his pronounciation once again! Ceeelllerrry and not Salary! Well there are other things he would say at the grocery story! :P (See Patient King)

My son is finally feeling better after suffering from fever, diarrhea and stomach pain. The last time he had these symptoms, he ended in the emergency room followed by a few days in the hospital. Nowadays I realize more and more on what my parents went through with me when I was ill. I have learn to appreciate them even more. I see my son as they saw me. When I suffered they did too. For a long time, I didn't understand why my mom always had a sluggish persona. I finally fully comprehend after staying up with my son for a few nights. This is the price of being a parent and it's all worth it especially when he wakes up in the morning with a smile and says...I am hungry! I want breakfast! and I love you Daddy!